As expected, the 2013 VMAs were full of crop tops, twerking, and a whole lot of Justin Timberlake. And a little bit of *N Sync.
Check out the highlights from the big show:
1. When Lady Gaga got self-referential, and then naked.
Gaga hit the stage for the first time since her hip surgery earlier this year and proved she’s master of the quick change and seashell bikini. And she managed to stay on key through her new tune “Applause.”
2. When Taylor Swift did not appreciate seeing her Harry Styles onstage.
Who knew TSwift had it in her.
Oh, and then she made another snide comment when she accepted her Best Female Video award.
3. When Taylor Swift was the most excited of anyone about Selena Gomez’s Best Pop Video win.
Two seconds after dissing Harry, Taylor instantly became the world’s best BFF when Selena won her first moon man for “Come and Get It.”
4. When Miley Cyrus made moms turn the channel.
We thought Miley’s teddy bear bathing suit and all the freaky dancing bears were over the top — then Robin Thicke came out and things just got crazy.
How many times can you touch your crotch in one four-minute performance? MANY, MANY TIMES. Miley changed into what looked like a nude plastic bikini for the joint segment and she and her foam finger got all twerky and up in Mr. Thicke’s personal space. Billy Ray must have been so proud.
On the other hand, Will Smith and family were not impressed.
5. When Macklemore accepted his award for Best Video with a Social Message with a touching social message.
Macklemore told the crowd: “I’m gonna be honest, I really wanted to win the Best Rap Video, but this moon man here stands for a lot more…This is the most important record out of all of ‘em.”
He also said this award “stands for a lot more” than other nominations and said that “gay rights are human rights.”
6. When Justin Timberlake made everyone’s night.
While the much-hyped *N Sync reunion wasn’t nearly as long as we’d have liked, JT didn’t disappoint. He sang and danced his way through a medley of some of his biggest hits and even managed to say “b****” without a bleep. That’s real talent, folks.
And, the entire star-studded audience was on their feet rocking out. That included Rihanna, who earlier in the evening gave Miley’s crotch the slow clap. And Lady Gaga, who risked losing her teensy tiny seashell bikini while dancing.
To top off his big VMA moment, Justin cried when his close friend Jimmy Fallon presented him with the Vanguard Award. We just want to know where Jessica Biel was through all of this.
7. When Austin Mahone won his first VMA.
Selena Gomez’s opening act already has a deeper voice than Justin Bieber. Although that is not exactly hard to do. The up-and-coming singer also thanked his mom. Good kid.
8. When Drake recreated his new album cover during his performance of “Hold On We’re Going Home.”
Drake went full emo for the first half of his performance, but eventually got the crowd into it with “Started From the Bottom.” Well, most of the crowd — Rihanna sat stone faced next to her BFF and pretended to be uninterested. But, really, she and Drake supposedly had dinner together in NYC Saturday night, so the shade might have just been for the cameras.
9. When Bruno Mars killed it.
Bruno, who earlier in the night seemed totally unaffected by his VMA win, delivered another of those performances that gets moms to say things like, “Now that’s a real artist.” Plus he wore a leopard print shirt.
10. When Justin Timberlake thanked his grandmother in his acceptance speech for Video of the Year for “Mirrors.”
11. When Katy Perry jumped rope in lieu of actual dancing during her performance of “Roar.”
In a sports bra, no less.